


All those missing pieces

by Elysya



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Fix It Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Moments, Multi, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Pining, S8 spoilers, Slow Burn, collection of drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-09-18 16:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elysya/pseuds/Elysya
Summary: There is a history there, profound and heavy, and it weights on Keith's shoulders so hard he almost feels like he can't get out of bed some days, especially since they came back to Earth and Shiro has started growing distant while Keith's feeling have remained strong and untouched by time and distance. Fortunately, their last mission to space will give them time to talk about all the things left unsaid between them.Or, a collection of those lost discussions and missing scenes that make season eight slightly more bearable.





	1. During 8x01

**Author's Note:**

> So,,, about the last season, uh?  
> There is no need to spread other salt over the wound, we all know that it was a hot mess (and not just for the end credits or the ships) so I took it upon myself, as I usually do, to write a series of one shots that will explore all those little moments I would have loved to see between Shiro and Keith; some are more realistic and could have been easily put in the show, others are much more self-indulgent but at this point I'm made 99% of pure spite so *shrugs*.
> 
> This first one is unbeta'd, I just had to get it out in the open ASAP.

_ “Spend the night with the people you love,” Shiro had said _ . 

Keith had followed through on his advice, as always, finding himself sitting on Captain Shirogane’s bed, Kosmo’s upper body lying on his lap, while his best friend of a lifetime showed him the old Black Paladin armor, humming with a hint of a smile and making a show of trying it on Keith’s frame.

As it was, the armor fit loosely around the younger man’s frame, even if he had filled in during the last years - weeks, according to everyone else, but Shiro was still considerably taller.

Still, the man gave a satisfied nod and said, “It suits you.”

Keith blushed slightly, he hoped the sudden heat behind his neck wouldn’t extend to his cheeks. He had heard Shiro’s praises a thousand times, but every new one was still a welcomed shock to his system.

He wondered, not for the first time, if one day his body would accompany his friend’s words and overall presence with a more subdued reaction.

“It doesn’t,” he replied.

“It will when you put it on for launch day. Black is good on you.”

Keith also wondered whether he actually wanted to forget what it was like to have his world turned upside down just because Shiro smiled at him.

They hadn’t really discussed what had happened between them, all the history, the small touches, the sentences spoken out in space as if the stars could carry away those feelings they had been repressing for so long, never to be taken in consideration or spoken again.

What happened in space stayed in space, or so Keith had thought when after a whole month spent on Earth, regrouping and refocusing, Shiro hadn’t started any kind of conversation or prompted him to continue whenever Keith mentioned the clone facility.

He had thought it was about a deeply rooted feeling of discomfort that took over as soon as someone mentioned Haggar.

It was a sealed away secret, hidden behind dismissive waves of hands and swift changes of topic. After a while, Keith had let the experience buried away with many other things he had vowed never to let resurface again, and with it all its consequences and revelations.

(That didn’t stop him from thinking even further back, to whispered compliments over campfires to save their lives in hostile planets, when Shiro was within a inch of his life and yet Keith saw for the first time a spark in Shiro’s eyes that he recognized in his own heart.

Or soft smiles with hands pressed on shoulders far too long for it to be considered a friendly gesture.

It ate away at him.)

“Go on, try it,” Shiro urged him, pushing the armor his way.

“It’s supposed to adapt to your body, of course it’s gonna fit me once I put it on,” Keith observed, closing his arms in front of his chest in mocked annoyance.

Shiro scrunched his nose, folded the under-suit ad deposited armor on a corner of his desk. “You can come back later and pick it up.”

“Later?”

“It’s our last sundown before who knows how long, do you really want to miss it?” Shiro whistled and Kosmo replied by snatching his head up and jumping off the bed to get his dose of scratches behind one ear. 

“Do you really want to spend your last night on earth with me?” Keith asked, reluctant and uncertain. He didn’t even know if he wanted to hear the answer, not when Shiro had been growing distant after Sendak’s defeat, treating him like a soldier more than a friend.

“Of course I do,” Shiro replied firmly, extending one hand so that Keith could take it. “Hurry up, before Kosmo decides to leave you here.”

Later, as they looked over the horizon from the top of Black’s head, right next to Keith’s old shack in the desert, they finally came to talking and clearing the air about stuff left unsaid, easing the weight on Keith’s heart by far but never lifting it off completely.

(“Why did you ask me if I  _ really _ wanted to hang out with you?”

“I don’t know. Figured you’d have something better to do, like always recently,” Keith admitted, hugging his legs close to his chest. “It felt like you were trying to push me away.”

“I’m sorry. It’s been really overwhelming, the last few months.”

“I know.”

“But I want to be there for you if you need me, always. You’re the person I care about the most.” He stopped harshly, cleaning his throat. “I didn’t willingly take my distances from you, you can tell me next time you feel this way,” he finished, playfully knocking their shoulders together.

He didn’t know, not for sure, not until that very moment.

“I know,” Keith repeated, a hint of a smile on his face.)

There was much else they needed to discuss, and Shiro’s words had put a spark of bravery into Keith’s soul, so warm and comforting he felt  in that moment in time - the sun setting before them, painting Shiro’s hair a light orange, casting the desert in an ethereal warm light - he could say what need to be said without remorse.

He was just about to open his mouth and speak, but then a rustle came from behind them and Lance showed up, dressed in rubbish and sausages that Kosmo immediately tried to snap off his neck.

“Lance, what happened to you?” Shiro asked, clearly concerned.

So he sat down and talked about his date with Allura, the crazy shenanigans Coran had put him through, bearing his heart out to them for lack of a better idea. 

They listened, helped, encouraged him to do the right thing with short, motivational speeches. 

The moment got lost.

(Keith wore the black armor the next day. 

He couldn’t help but notice two things: wearing the same colors as Shiro before the crowd, announcing their leadership and equality before everyone on Earth, really felt good; not as good as the approving smile Shiro sent his way before starting the speech they had prepared.)


	2. Post 8x03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been seven months. Am I even still capable to remember something of season eight to make these even slightly adiacent to canon? Does someone still care about these fix it fics? Have they gone out of style? But most importantly, DO I CARE? The answer is no. So have some mushy sheith.

“We should separate,” Allura started when they returned on board. “Voltron moves East while Atlas goes West, we’ll cover more ground this way.”

Keith shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Princess.”

“Why not?” Lance chimed in, stepping up to support Allura. “If we need to find Haggar, we have to do it fast.”

“We’re already outnumbered as it is,” Keith barked, growing more tense.

“We can take ‘em out,” Lance supplied.

“Yes. We have done it before,” Allura added.

“I’m the captain. I say we are not leaving Atlas.”

“Dude, calm down,” Pidge pitched in. “It was just a suggestion.”

“I am calm,” Keith growled, closing his arms in front of his chest. “But leaving the Atlas is stupid at best and suicidal at worst. We’re not going anywhere, end of story.” 

That said, he walked away, leaving everyone on main deck somewhere between confused and shocked.

“Give him a minute,” Shiro said, looking at the door long after it had closed behind Keith. “He needs to destress a little.”

***

Atlas had pierced the atmosphere only a few days prior, and yet trauma didn’t fail to arrive. Keith should have been prepared for it, should have expected it, even; yet he found himself sitting in an unused corner of the ship, doing what Lance would have accurately described as brooding.

The knowledge that all the horrors he had seen had been caused, albeit indirectly, by him and his mother was gnawing at his brain, munching down the last tibid of clearness left in his mind.

In a way, the notion of his own sadness made him feel at ease: maybe, if the regret that was keeping him awake was truly genuine, there was still a part of him untouched by the ugliness of the war. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

These conflicting thoughts, the many ways in which his brain was speeding, were the reason why he had put his foot down and demanded they don’t separate from the mothership.

It was true that Voltron was stronger than ever, their bond toughened after the many adventures, and he had gained much wisdom and self-confidence in the years spent with his mother; absorbing a calmness he had only hoped to achieve, learning it from Krolia as a mean of survival.

Yet, in his heart of hearts, Keith knew he was still a kid and perhaps the responsibilities and duties were getting to him too fast after he almost blew himself out of this world for the third time.

That kind of thing took a toll on one’s soul he couldn’t really put a name on, but he knew he had managed to make it stall during their time on Earth and being back in the battlefield had made all kind of weird emotions and feelings resurface.

Overwhelming was the right word to describe it.

While he stood still, sitting, observing the grey wall in front of him, a heavy weight sat to his side. He didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.

“Hey, Admiral. Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, his voice rough from disuse and lack of sleep.

Shiro shrugged. “You couldn’t either, Captain.”

They settled around the silence.

Keith passed a hand on his helmet, caressing the black chrest slowly. 

“How does it feel?” Shiro jocked, hoping to pass to a lighter topic by bumping his shoulder with the one of his friend. 

“Like it’s someone else’s,” Keith answered, letting a sad smile on his face.

“It really isn’t,” Shiro assured him. He raised his arm, putting it close to Keith’s one, still wearing the full Paladin uniform. “Besides, we match.”

Keith looked at their uniforms, both white and black, too similar for two people so different. He tried to grasp the pride and fulfillment he had felt during launch day in front of the same sight, but he came up empty handed. 

“You know it was my fault, right?” he admitted, ignoring every chance of getting out of the confrontation with a lighter heart. “We left that monster escape, it went around eating Galras and who knows what else.”

Shiro let him continue, lowering his arm but leaving his hand on Keith’s knee to let him know that, no matter where his head or his words would take him, he would be there to ground him.

Maybe it was the fragile state in which Keith found himself, maybe it was the desperate need to get rid of the voices in his head, or maybe it was merely Shiro’s presence, acting like a calming wave ever since they had met for the first time, that led him to speak freely.

“And that meltdown I had on deck? God, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have snapped like that,” he said, passing a hand on his face. “The guys must be so mad at me.”

Shiro shook his head, “I talked to them, it’s fine.”

“You’re so good,” he whispered, a sentence that meant nothing at all and everything at once, looking at his friend like he was something sacred, an anchor he was too scared to detach from. Shiro pretended he hadn’t heard. “I’m a leader, I’m supposed to know better.”

“You do know better, and everyone makes mistakes,” Shiro noted.

“You sound like a fortune cookie,” Keith reprimanded him, leaning back until his head was hitting the wall behind him.

Shiro chuckled. “That doesn’t mean I’m wrong, though.” 

“You never made mistakes like this. Allura never made mistakes like this.”

He squeezed Keith’s knee, pointing at his chest plate with his prosthetic. “This uniform means something, and if you trust my judgment as I know you do then you’ll realize I made the right choice.”

His shooting voice helped Keith’s nerves calm down, his shoulders lowered and he closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, exhaling loudly in the silent hall.

Shiro had always believed in him, trusted him, guided him, and although that faith seemed to have wavered in the past weeks, there he was claiming the exact opposite not only with words but with his actions. 

It was reassuring, even if it didn’t help erase the pain of lives lost because of an error in judgment.

“You will have to apologize to them, though,” Shiro conceded.

“I know. I will.”

Silence.

“So,” Shiro started, “I heard you unlocked a new feature in your beyard today.”

This time, Keith took the change in topic in strike, smiling despite himself at the memory of the black cannon he had awakened. “It was so cool, Shiro. You would have loved to shoot that thing.”

“What was it?” Shiro teased. 

“Like Hunk’s bayard, but more powerful. It pierced a whole junk of the Galra ship right off,” Keith said, mimicking the movement of pulling the trigger with one hand.

“You truly do have it all, don’t you?”

Keith blushed, ducking his head with the pretense of fixing his gloves.

“How’s Kosmo?” he asked, directing the attention away from himself.

“Bedridden for now, but he’ll be ok soon. He misses you.” 

“You went to visit him?” Keith asked with awe in his voice. Why such a small sentiment made him feel so weak was an admission for another day.

“Wanna go now? I’m sure he’ll love to see you.”

Keith shook his head. “No, it’s too late, I don’t wanna wake him up.” He raised himself up, stuffing a deep yawn back inside his mouth when he stretched. “I’m off to bed.” 

Or at least, he would pretend to get some sleep.

Shiro eased himself up as well, using his hand to scratch at that one particular spot behind his ear. “Well, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Keith repeated. His mind flashed back to warm sunsets and warmer smiles on their last day on Earth, to all the things he had wanted to say and felt now too tired to even mention.

He told himself he would stop avoiding the subject as soon as his mind stopped spinning. 


End file.
